


An Emerging Truth

by AlphaCentari



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Dragon Age Inquisition, F/F, Falling In Love, Lesbian Character, lesbian love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-03
Updated: 2015-04-03
Packaged: 2018-03-21 01:01:04
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 10,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3671724
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AlphaCentari/pseuds/AlphaCentari
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Cassandra Pentaghast is a woman of duty if she is nothing else, but what secrets lie beneath when her duty to all others is fulfilled and she is left with the challenges of acknowledging her own inner turmoils concerning her feelings for her dearest friend, the Inquisitor?  She turned Evelyn's affections for her down once, so why was it that her heart kept pushing her back toward Evelyn Trevelyan after all this time?</p>
            </blockquote>





	An Emerging Truth

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first post. I enjoyed writing it and hope to get better with practice. I don't own any of the characters.

Cassandra haphazardly booted a clod of dirt into the dying embers of last night’s campfire. The flickering coals smoldered as small clouds of white smoke rose up in protest at the gasping fire beneath the scattered dust. Another sharp swipe of her boot, and the remnant flames were snuffed and buried.

She grunted as she hoisted her Seeker’s shield onto her back and gathered up her bedroll. She was going home after six long months of being on the road. The small traveling party would be back in Skyhold in a few days, and she found herself feeling almost giddy with excitement at the idea of being home again. 

She’d established four Seeker stations adjoining chantries in major cities throughout Thedas, and this was only the beginning of her responsibilities as the newly appointed High Seeker since Corypheus was defeated. Her task was to rebuild the Seeker Order anew, which was no small feat against the kingdom wide swath of corruption the twisted magister had wrought. Indeed, not one patch of dirt across two great kingdoms had been left unscathed by the blight of his atrocious design to rule all.

Her thoughts had lately been focused only on her work. She’d been busy making sure the appropriate legal documents were drawn up as determined at Skyhold and the right staff were trained and in place at the new stations. She was accustomed to this kind of life, making sure the job got done, especially when she was the only one in place to do it and letting nothing stand in her way. Her task left little room for anything else . . . that is, until now. 

The road to Skyhold was quiet; all roads between villages and cities were quiet now. There was a time not long ago when it hadn’t been like that. That was when grotesque screaming demons or the slow hollow groans of the living dead could appear from around the corner at any given moment. Nowhere was safe then, and she found it both a relief and equally disorienting to travel the roads without having to be vigilant of those horrors anymore. The Inquisitor brought about peace in the land, and she found herself thinking more of the woman herself as the road turned familiar with each step drawing Cassandra closer to her. Where the Inquisitor abode, there was her home also.

Home had been a curious word that held no real meaning for her during much of her nomadic life until the Inquisition had taken root in Skyhold after Haven had fallen. Along the way now, she couldn’t shake the thought of how the Inquisitor personified home to her more than she could understand, more than she dared to try. It had always been enough to know that Evelyn Trevelyan, the Inquisitor, was her dearest and closest friend, but her heart stirred to remind her that there was so much more to her affection for her than that. 

Having the mission’s work behind her at the moment and the winding mountain road going home before her, her thoughts wandered to the day she‘d pushed Evelyn away. The replay of that memory stabbed at her heart with sharp regret even now, nearly one year later. Unlike this morning’s fire, no matter how she continued to kick at that memory, it stubbornly held a burning flame in her heart that would not be extinguished or dismissed.

In the fight against Corypheus, Evelyn had risked much, even risking her own life more times than Cassandra would ever know to save her, to save all of Thedas. Cassandra knew she’d deserved more than to be clandestinely coaxed out onto a staircase in the shadows one night by her without warning and told her gentle affections could not, would not be returned in kind. And why would they not? Because, as Cassandra had explained, Evelyn was her leader and . . . a woman. Those reasons of rejection didn’t hold the same weight for her today as they did when she was lacking the refined boldness she now carried since Corypheus’ defeat. She had been afraid of a woman wanting her, _that_ woman, to be sure. She’d charged headfirst into battle against a hundred roaring demons ravenous for her blood, but she hadn’t been able to face the greatest woman she had ever known or ever would know showing the sweetest affections for her. More than this, she hadn’t been able to face the secret longing inside that she liked it, yearned for it. It was fear that was holding her back, and having come from a long ancestral line of brave and fearless dragon hunters, realizing it dug at her like a thorn.

As her horse plodded along the hard cold road to Skyhold, Cassandra frowned disappointedly for the thousandth time at the recall of her words to Evelyn that soft enchanted evening. Had she not been so stubborn, so close-minded, so out of touch with her own self for the sake of duty and responsibility, maybe the evening would have gone much differently. Instead, Evelyn had responded softly with understanding, promising that the advancements, however subtle and courteous they had been, would stop. Cassandra recalled the shrinking wounded look in Evelyn’s beautiful blue eyes masked nearly perfectly by her graceful acquiescence to the rejection. She felt that stabbing pain in her heart again and urged her horse onward ahead of the others to ride point alone.

True to her word, Evelyn had not shown that affection toward Cassandra again since that night. She’d remained a genuine friend, a true leader and steady supporter, encouraging Cassandra to stay true to herself when rebuilding the Seekers. Evelyn had been honorable and noble enough not to endanger the greater mission for the sake of whatever she may have personally felt, a selfless maturity that had not gone unnoticed by Cassandra.

Cassandra had never known real love for anyone, and certainly never for a woman. Men had come and gone from her life over the years before the great rift in the sky, but most hadn’t meant anything more to her than a fleeting occasional kiss in the moonlight. Many a heart had been broken in the wake of her sense of duty, and she felt only momentary sympathy for those who knew she would not love them back, falling for her nonetheless. She had thought that turning Evelyn away would be no different, that it wouldn’t mean anything to her, but her heart stubbornly insisted she had been sorely mistaken.

Evelyn had carried on and invested in someone who was available and willing to show her the love she so richly deserved. Cassandra grimaced jealously, thinking of how silly Sera had been (and likely still was) and how Evelyn, the Inquisitor, surely needed someone more responsible and level headed. How could she possibly be happy with someone like Sera, always about her pranks and childish antics, carrying on with such incessantly obnoxious behavior? Sera couldn’t be serious about anything even if her life depended upon it, and Cassandra thought rather self-righteously that it was a good thing it _hadn’t_ depended upon it. She believed that Sera was alive because of leaders like the Inquisitor and herself who were serious enough to do the hard work from which others like Sera followed and benefited.

She knew she couldn’t deny that Sera had done her part to help. After all, she had been in the group that had faced Corypheus in the end and much of the time leading up to the final stand. Her deadly arrows had flown true, piercing his grotesque flesh and impaling his twisted demon minions as Cassandra’s sword had stricken them down just the same. She was a true warrior and worthy of respect for her bravery, but a lover for Evelyn as her equal? Cassandra could not reckon it in her mind. Evelyn deserved better, so much more.

After another chilling night on the cold mountain road, Cassandra’s traveling party arrived at Skyhold just before sundown the following night. They crossed the long stone bridge leading into the behemoth structure nestled in the snowcapped mountaintops. She dismounted once inside the gate. She looked upward from the lower courtyard to the orange fire lit lamps in front of the main entrance to the hold. Laughter and singing rang throughout the early evening air, a sound she missed during her travels from that once victorious night when Corypheus had been slain and the land had been saved. Every town and city she had passed through in Ferelden and Orlais on her recent travels had been celebrating joyously the same way, and all had offered blessings and praise for the Inquisitor and her Inquisition.

Her feet ached, and her backside hurt even more from riding hard all day to get here by nightfall. It was almost enough to take her mind off of finally being home, almost, but not quite. She smiled as she reached the top of the wide stone stairs that led to the main door, and she entered to the greeting of “Hail, High Seeker” from those that she passed.

She spotted Evelyn walking toward her from across the main hall, and her heart and feet stopped still at the site of her. Evelyn’s eyes were warm and kind as she neared Cassandra, just as she remembered them. Evelyn was handsomely adorned in fine black linen breeches and a slim gold waistcoat, clearly the skilled work of Vivienne’s tailor in Val Royeaux. That woman had made it her mission to spearhead Evelyn’s transitioning look from warrior to diplomatic leader, and Cassandra admired her handiwork as a lustful ache began to arise between her legs.

Shiny black leather knee high boots clapped softly on the stone floor as Evelyn neared. Her short wavy blonde hair was neatly combed, and one lock fell roguishly over her forehead and across one eye. She reached up to brush it back, revealing the scar across her eyebrow and cheek that had always been there since before the day Cassandra had met her. She often wondered where the warrior had picked up the scar or what others may be hiding beneath her clothes, and she felt her breath catch with surprise when she realized how her thoughts had quickly wandered so deviously in Evelyn’s presence. She steadied herself as Evelyn stepped closer with her arms outstretched, hoping that she wouldn’t embarrass herself by melting at her touch.

Evelyn’s arms enclosed about her shoulders, squeezing her briefly and letting her go with a quick greeting kiss on her cheek. She leaned back and beheld Cassandra with a warm smile, “Welcome home, my dear friend. It is so good to see you!”

Cassandra felt her heart doing funny swoony things in such close proximity to Evelyn. The familiar musky scent of Evelyn sent an unexpected sexually charged jolt between her legs, and she tensed slightly as she fought against letting out a gasp of pleasure. She stepped back, feigning a need to put her traveling pack down just to put some distance between them until the feeling subsided. Evelyn merely watched and waited with a smile while others gathered about excitedly to greet Cassandra, bowing and wishing her a warm welcome. Cassandra nodded her head to their greetings but looked road weary with a tired smile. It was so good to be back, and she looked at Evelyn again at the thought of home, remembering her secret inner ponderings on the road.

Evelyn beckoned with a smile, causing Cassandra's knees to go all rubbery. “Come, my friend, let me walk you to your quarters. I’ll see to it that you are cared for well. I’ll wager the best thing for you right now is a bath, a bite, and a good sleep, eh?” She put one arm loosely around Cassandra’s shoulders, urging her through the throng of people in the main hall who were still exclaiming a welcome home to their respected High Seeker.

Cassandra was disoriented at the surrounding clamor of noise and activity, but she felt steadied by Evelyn’s arm about her, guiding her through the crowded hall. They turned through one of the heavy wooden doors just before the rising level where the Inquisitor’s throne stood as a beacon of judgment, and Cassandra glanced at the far door beyond to the left of the throne, the doorway to Evelyn’s chambers. Deep down inside she longed to go through that door instead of any other now, but she let Evelyn lead her to her own chamber. It was just as she had left it as she entered for the first time in six months, a welcome sight.

“I’ll leave you to rest tonight, and we’ll talk more tomorrow of your travels and all that has transpired since you’ve been away, my friend,” Evelyn said joyfully.

When Evelyn spoke to her, Cassandra realized with her back to her that she had not followed her in, and she was relieved and disappointed at the same time. She was disappointed because she had not realized how much she had missed Evelyn’s smiling face and didn’t want her to leave so soon. She was relieved because a powerful spark of physical longing had been ignited at Evelyn’s welcoming touch, and she didn’t have the strength to keep stifling the urge to do something about it that would very likely involve Evelyn. Indeed, she was frightened by how passionate the fire was burning in her in this moment and how she thought she would nearly give into it if Evelyn were to touch her in just the right way, however innocent such an encounter may be intended

She turned about wearily with a half-smile and said, “Thank you, my friend. It is good to see you too, and I will see you again in the morning.” Evelyn nodded with that charming same smile that was still making Cassandra’s knees weak and withdrew, shutting the door behind her. _She has no idea what she’s doing to me,_ Cassandra thought, _and neither do I, but I can’t get enough of it._

Cassandra sighed with a mix of emotions and weariness. She walked into her bathroom to see a bath had been recently drawn with the water still steaming. She smiled at Evelyn’s sweet promise that she would be cared for well. They must have posted a watch to see her coming from miles away and knew when to pour the hot water into the tub. Lanterns were lit, and the fireplace was roaring with a warm fire in the main chamber. Single servings of bread, fruit, meats and cheeses were arrayed on a silver platter upon a table in the main room. A pitcher of water and an empty goblet stood next to it.

Cassandra poured the water and picked up some hunks of meat and cheese and an apple, carrying all into the bathroom where she set them down and began to undress. Her armor and weapons clanked onto the floor and made her body feel much lighter without them. She was looking forward to what it would feel like to walk around for a few days without being heavily armed. She remembered the first blossoms of spring when the people, then refugees from the obliterated Haven, had first occupied Skyhold. She would feel like that without her armor, floating, walking on air. The feeling was familiar for another reason too, and her heart began to thump faster at the thought of Evelyn’s smile coming suddenly to mind. _Maker, the woman is in my every thought!_

Cassandra peeled off the dusty layers of her underclothes, standing naked and slightly shivering in the cool air. She stepped into the warm steaming bath and sank down into it. The warm water was soothing and blissful. She picked up a sponge and dunked it into the water, sliding it over her skin and found that she was still feeling a sense of heated invigoration, especially between her legs. She fought against inundating thoughts of Evelyn again, unsure what these incredible sensations meant and why she felt them when she thought of Evelyn. Surely she was merely overwhelmed at being home after so long. A good night’s rest would fix everything indeed. She dismissed her thoughts and sought sleep deliberately, rising from the tub and collapsing on her bed in deep slumber.

The next day, morning’s light streamed through the delicately crafted stained glass windows in her chambers. She opened her eyes slowly and sat up in bed, still drowsy with sleep. She knew it was late in the morning, and she felt like she could sleep for the rest of the day. Not being one to let the day get away from her, she rose, dressed, and left her room. It wasn’t long before she entered the hallway from her chamber that she met Iron Bull. The big Quanari was lumbering down the hallway. When he saw her, his face split into a broad smile as he stepped quickly to her and gathered her up in his arms, squeezing the air out of her and laughing heartily.

“Ah, welcome back home, Cassandra!” he said with a booming voice as he set her back down.

“Um thank you, Bull. It’s good to be back,” Cassandra said uncomfortably. Bull knew she wasn’t accustomed to such a show of affection. She knew he didn’t care and would do it anyway.

“Where is, um . . .” Cassandra started clumsily.

“Her Inquisitorness?” Bull interrupted.

“Well, yes, it would be good to know where the Inquisitor is, but I was going to say _Josephine_ ,” Cassandra said, emphasizing Josephine.

“Yeah, sure,” Bull said incredulously. “Josephine is where she always is, in her office working, and the Inquisitor is out in the training yard keeping her sword arm strong.” He spoke of the Inquisitor’s training proudly because anything showing discipline in honing one’s battle skills was impressive to him.

“Thank you, Bull,” Cassandra said sharply as she started to walk down the hall again.

“Cassandra,” Bull said after her.

She stopped, trying to hide her desire to get away from anyone figuring out how badly she was dying to see Evelyn. It almost seemed like Bull knew something of it, but she dismissed it quickly since she wasn’t quite willing to admit it to herself.

“Sera’s not here anymore,” Bull stated. He waited for a moment to let that sink in with Cassandra. The woman, accustomed to being a Seeker for many years, had iron facial expressions that gave nothing away, but he wasn’t known as the one that beat everyone at wicked grace for nothing. He knew tells when he saw them, and he knew she had been looking for the Inquisitor. After all, who wasn’t lining up to garner her favor these days since her mighty sword felled Corypheus? It was Cassandra’s resistance to admit it that made him realize there could be something to the hunch he’d had for quite some time.

Cassandra turned to face him and said simply, “Why?”

Bull guessed she was interested for more than just Sera’s sake or plain curiosity. She’d never really shown much approval of the prankster elf from the start, but even so, Sera was a dedicated member of the Inquisitor’s warrior party that helped take down Corypheus. Bull respected that she’d put her life on the line just like the rest of them and hadn’t tucked tail and run when she could have at anytime. Even Cassandra would not disrespect her by ignoring her absence, but Bull believed there was more to her inquiry than simply wanting to know why she left for the sake of knowing. He knew she would play it off like there wasn’t, so he would help her out and tell her what she really wanted to know without making it too obvious. Humans were always so damned complicated. Quanari just said what they wanted and took it when they could. This game playing was not without its uses in wicked grace, however, so he would play along for now for the practice. Aside from that, he esteemed his human friend, Evelyn, more than any other human he had ever known and more than most Quanari he had known. He wanted good things for his friend, and if Cassandra and Evelyn were to . . . well, now he knew he was probably getting ahead of himself with wishful thinking for his friend.

Bull answered, “You should ask Verric for the full story, but I am sure she left because of something having to do with her Red Jenny thing. She’s not coming back, at least not as far as I know. I’ve missed that little rambunctious elf around here, but at least I won’t wake up to my room filled with nugs anymore. Damned things shit all over the place and it took a whole day to clean it up. Anyway, just thought you might want to know.”

Cassandra opened her mouth to ask more burning questions that were stacking up lightening quick on the tip of her tongue, but she decided against it and would wait until she could get more information

_Why should she care other than that a member of the core is gone? There was no other reason why it would matter,_ she lied to herself. 

“Thanks, Bull,” Cassandra said, turning about and walking through the door to the main hall, leaving him standing there, watching her go.

She was dressed in her Seeker uniform but didn’t carry her armor or weapons. Nobles and workers alike nodded respectfully to her as she passed by. She walked to the Inquisitor’s Rest, the tavern in Skyhold outside of the main building that still thrived with plenty of day and night business. As she drew nearer she could hear the bard inside strumming a sweet melody and singing with a familiar voice that was just as angelic as it had ever been.

She entered, and tavern patrons lifted their mugs to her in salutation. She nodded her head as she did with the others and walked up the creaky wooden staircase to the second floor. Winding her way around the open center of the room, she came upon the room that had been Sera’s. Having only seen it once from a distance, she remembered that it had been filled with frilly lacy trappings and furniture from wall to wall. Now there was nothing . . . but, what was that? She spied a tiny scrap of red paper crumpled up in the corner. Had she not come all the way into the room, she would have missed it for how nestled it was in the shadows.

Cassandra picked up the scrap of paper and saw that it was folded multiple times rather neatly into a tiny square rather than crumpled. Someone had purposely folded it like this, and she could only imagine it was some unnoticed piece of trash that had been left behind when Sera vacated. Cassandra didn’t even know yet how long ago that had been, and she was surprised that there wasn’t more trash strewn about the place, considering how nonchalant about everything else the elven girl had been. She sat down on the built-in wooden bench that ran along one wall consisting of a large picture window covered by trellises. The morning sunlight shone through warmly. 

She cradled the piece of paper in her hand. Should she read it? She considered tossing it away instead in the innkeeper’s waste bin; surely it said nothing she was interested in if it came from Sera. _But what if?_

She opened the red paper carefully, rolling her eyes at how many times she had to unfold it. _Was this really necessary?_ When she was finished, she found words neatly written on the paper in the form of a letter to someone. She looked to the top of the letter to whom it was addressed, and it read:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

_To the First from the Second,_

_You probably know by now that I’m gone, and obviously you’ve come to see for yourself that it’s so, being true to your nature and all. I know I was never the first choice, right? That’s your place, yeah?_

_The shat thing is you don’t know it, or you don’t let yourself know. You need to let yourself know, because you’re needed. I couldn’t be what was needed, what was wanted, but you are. You don’t even have to BE it; you already ARE it to her anyway. Open your eyes and stop being so damned daft._

_I wanted to be the First, but I’m not. It’s as simple as that, and if I stay as the Second trying to be the First, I just feel like a daft ass, because I’ll never be the First. Me wanting to and not able to be is why I have to leave._

_Anyway, I’ve done what I came to do here, and I found what I needed to find. I am true to the Inquisition no matter where I am, and who knows? You may see me again someday. Red Jenny is everywhere, you know ☺_

_Please treat well the one that I wanted to be First to. You are the luckiest person in the world to be the First to that one, so stop being so fucking stupid about it, yeah?_

_The Second_

_PS – Yes, I folded it like that on purpose just to annoy you!_

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Cassandra finished reading the awkwardly cryptic letter, observing the margins were haphazardly spotted with crude various doodles of hearts, facial expressions, and a picture of the sun with multiple hearts encircling it. An arrow pointed from the sun picture to the word “her.” Obviously, Sera had written this about someone for which she cared a great deal, but to whom was it addressed? She sat in the sunlight looking at the letter with wonder. Who was the First? Why did she call herself the Second? Who did she want to be First to?

One name began to form in the farthest corner of her mind. To say it formed was to say that her awareness had quickened to what had always been there. Her lips mouthed the name in her distant yet embracing thought of the only name that filled her now . . . _Evelyn_. She couldn’t tell if the shocking realization that resonated through her came from thoughts of the name or if the name had literally escaped through her trembling lips carried on a whisper by her longing voice. _Evelyn_ . . . she closed her eyes and let her thoughts wander up and away like dandelion seeds floating carelessly on the soft spring breeze seeking purchase in the fertile bliss of that beloved name.

_What do these feelings mean?_

“Figured it out yet?” a man’s voice said, startling her and jerking her sharply back from her passion-filled thoughts. The sarcastic tone sounded like a certain dwarfy man’s voice, and Cassandra dropped the note on the floor, not knowing if she should hide it or pretend that she hadn’t read it yet. She took a deep breath and looked up to see Verric leaning against the jamb in the doorway watching her, and she was immediately irritated, as she often felt in his presence.

She would never get over him lying to her about Hawke. That was mostly because she fell for it; so more accurately, she would never get over him making a _fool_ out of her.

She reached down and snatched the paper from the floor, standing up to face Verric angrily, “How _dare_ you watch me in my private moments!”

Verric smiled slightly, “Ah, the angry defense. Ok, we’ll play it that way if you want to, Seeker. I apologize for interrupting you. I saw you come in here from across the room and thought I’d come over first to welcome you home and secondly to see what you thought about that thing in your hand. So here’s for the first part; welcome back, Seeker. It’s good to see you again.” He was the only one so far that didn’t call her by her newly acquired title of High Seeker, and she knew it was over some odd sort of friendly affection toward her that he kept it real, reminding her that he knew her when.

Cassandra, feeling oddly busted, relaxed slightly and said, “Thank you, Verric. It’s good to be home.”

Verric stepped into the room and said, “You were, um, missed by all of us. Especially _some_ of us.”

Cassandra looked at him and smiled slightly, unaware that she was unable to hide her inner hope that he meant a certain someone. When Verric smiled back knowingly, she wiped the smile from her face and said sternly, “I accept your apology for sneaking up on me like that.”

Verric sighed, “Good to know. Now for the second part, what about that?” He pointed to the paper in her hand.

Cassandra looked at the red paper and remembered that she was in the midst of trying to figure it out when he startled her. “Verric, I just returned home after six months, and I’m trying to sort through a lot of things. Sera’s nonsensical ramblings are not high on the list.”

“Well they _should_ be, Seeker,” Verric said.

“Oh? I hardly think I need _you_ to make that determination for me, Verric,” Cassandra said heatedly.

Verric smiled and said, “Aren’t you even a little curious as to why Sera left?”

Cassandra sighed and said, “Well, yes I am. It seems rather hasty, considering all that has occurred since she joined the Inquisition, but she never really struck me as one who would be loyal to anything but her self in the end. I’m not surprised she took to the road when the adventure dried up and the real work of rebuilding began.”

Verric replied, “Let’s go downstairs and grab some pints, and I’ll tell you all that I know.”

“And just how do you know so much about this? I don’t recall you and Sera chumming it up that much,” Cassandra challenged him. “Even you had your limits of her ridiculousness I suppose.”

“Ever the Seeker, aren’t you? I’ll tell you how I know; because she told me herself before she left. Good enough for you?” Verric asked; he sounded almost irritated with her for questioning him. Cassandra backed off.

“Well, that does sound better than just speculation. And this note, it’s so cryptic. I hope what you have to tell me isn’t explained like this reads,” Cassandra said with disdain in her voice.

Verric replied, “Not a chance, Seeker. That’s enough debate about whether or not we _should_ talk. Come on, I’m buying.”

They took a seat at a private table away from the other patrons. Verric took a long draw from his pint, and Cassandra only sipped gingerly at hers. Verric gave her a brief disapproving look but said nothing.

“Well, lets have it. What happened to make Sera depart from the Inquisition?” Cassandra asked pointedly.

Verric replied, “It happened about two months ago.”

“She’s been gone for two whole months?” Cassandra asked, exasperated.

“Yes. She came to me one day wanting to talk; she looked crestfallen. You know how Sera is, never really saying anything directly. The gist of what she said is that her Red Jenny work was more than just work. She called it a way of life, and she decided to go back to it. She said she had left it behind temporarily to help defeat Corypheus and to see for herself if the Maker was truly still involved with us all. She felt like she’d found her faith again when Corypheus fell, and she found the Maker again through her time with the Inquisitor, both before and after they became an item, “ Verric storied.

It did not escape him that Cassandra shifted a bit uneasily at the mention of Sera and the Inquisitor, but to look only at her face, her stone expression didn’t reveal it. He remembered that stone look when she questioned him previously about Kirkwall’s demise and Hawke, and he’d hated it.

Cassandra’s face softened slightly then when she said, “I suppose that is a good result if she left this experience having found her faith in the Maker again. The Inquisitor has had that effect on many people, including me. However, I don’t understand leaving a higher cause like the Inquisition’s just to pull pranks on nobility.” Her tone almost sounded self-righteous, but it was only a way to deflect the angst she felt over Sera's place with Evelyn, even if it was ended now.

“Ah, that’s just it. Sera thought that she was helping people by inspiring some with her antics and keeping the playing field level for others, ‘the little people’ she used to call them. Let’s not forget that there were some that died justifiably at the hands of Red Jenny’s people for crimes committed when no one else would or could help. In any case, she thinks what she is doing is worthwhile and needed, and she’d developed a renewed sense of that along with everything else while she was here,” Verric said.

“Is that all?” Cassandra said. She knew it wasn’t.

“I figured, being as you and the Inquisitor are such good friends, you might be interested in knowing how that situation went between them once Sera decided to leave,” Verric baited.

Cassandra said sharply, “For Maker’s sake, that’s not my business or any of yours either!”

Verric took another long draw from his mug and said, “Ah, but that doesn’t mean we can’t be curious, does it?”

Cassandra sighed softly, “No it doesn’t. I imagine she was hurt, was she not?”

Verric asked, “Who are we talking about?”

Cassandra shot back, “The Inquisitor, of course!”

Verric replied, “I’ll tell you this much, Seeker. She wasn’t nearly as hurt as Sera was, and I’m not sure that the Inquisitor even knows that. I’m pretty sure Sera did.”

Cassandra looked confused, “What do you mean? How can that be possible when Sera is the one that left her?” She began sipping her mug more frequently. She wanted to be angry at Sera for deserting Evelyn this way, even though she was glad that she had left in any manner.

Verric said, “I think that note in your hand might answer your question. I’ll tell you the truth; I’ve read it too. I didn’t know what it was anymore than you did when I saw it. I came up to her room shortly after she’d left to clean it out and move in myself. I thought it would be more appropriate for me to be rooming in the tavern instead of the keep anyway, me being a dwarf and all. When I was in that room, I saw that note and read it. Putting the pieces together from what I already know of Sera’s story before she left, I put it back and instructed the barkeep not to let anyone in that room until you returned. She left it there for you, Cassandra, and so I put it right back where I had found it, _exactly_ as I had found it, and I haven’t moved in since.”

Cassandra sat back and stared at Verric thoughtfully.

After a moment, Verric teased, “I never thought the day would come when _you_ would be at a loss for words.”

Cassandra snapped, “I am not at a loss for words, Verric. I’m considering what you’ve told me. I’m trying to figure out how this involves me and why Sera would have left such a note to me.”

Verric saw a rare glimpse of expression on her face that he had never seen before. _Fear_ , and he knew that she knew but wouldn’t admit it to him.

He leaned forward slightly over the table and said, “Now I’ve told you what happened with Sera. What I want to know is what is happening with _you_.”

“That truly is none of your business. Thank you for telling me what you have,” Cassandra rose from the table. She intended to leave over half of her mug filled with ale, which Verric was happy to finish for her.

As Cassandra turned to leave, Verric asked her, “Seeker, is that . . . are you _blushing_?”

“ _Oh bah!_ ” Cassandra snapped and turned to leave in a hurry because he had busted her again.

Cassandra left the tavern in a rush, wanting to get as far away from Verric as possible for the moment. He knew too much, and he was just being cautious by not crossing any boundaries to ask about her feelings where the Inquisitor is concerned. That was a good thing, because she didn’t know how she felt, and she was perfectly happy to leave it at that. Facing it would mean everything she knew about herself would change permanently, and that was what frightened her the most.

She pulled the note out and studied it once more, considering the information Verric had given her and what Sera seemed to be trying to say here. How could Evelyn not have been hurt by Sera leaving her and for a lifestyle of Red Jenny pranks no less? She didn’t care what good Sera thought she was doing; it was nothing more than nonsense to Cassandra.

Then there was this babbling nonsensical talk from Sera about the First and the Second. She had said in the note that Cassandra was the luckiest woman in the world to be the First to the one that Sera was only the Second to and wanted to be the First to. _Oh bah! I’m starting to think like her now!_ She stuffed the note in her waistband.

Cassandra strolled across the upper courtyard to the sparring area where she used to hone her own battle moves. On the way, she reasoned that if Sera meant Evelyn in her note, it would make sense since she had been with Evelyn romantically. If that was true, then Sera was saying that she was only second best to Cassandra in Evelyn’s heart, but how could she know that?

_Why does this matter so much to me anyway?_

Cassandra’s heart began to beat through her chest as she considered the possibilities, but she calmed herself when she realized that she still only had the speculations of others about what Evelyn felt. She found the whole mess to be very confusing, and she believed that the better thing to do than lose her sanity from Verric and Sera was to just follow her heart. Her heart wanted to see Evelyn, so she turned her feet to go where Bull had said she was, training.

The sun was shining, and it felt somewhat warm outside. Skyhold was high up in the mountains where it stayed fairly cold compared to what life was like in Haven, but it was warm today, more so than usual, and the summer air felt crisp and fresh. 

Cassandra turned the corner to see Evelyn sparring with a trainer. She was wearing a tight fitting sleeveless tunic that hugged the small breasts of her torso, revealing muscular lean arms and strong sinewy shoulders. She was battling with a two-handed greatsword, and it caused her whole body to shift and leap in counterbalance to its weight with each swing or block. She was wearing short training boots and comfortably snug brown breeches.

Cassandra walked up behind Evelyn, careful not to disturb her while she was training and took a seat on a bench nearby to watch her. _Oh Blessed Andraste, she is so amazingly beautiful._ She couldn’t take her eyes off of Evelyn, watching her graceful strong body lunging and balancing with ease while powerfully gripping the heavy iron greatsword. Cassandra watched every movement, feeling sneaky for staring but unable to stop.

Evelyn and her sparring partner came to a finish, both lowering their weapons and pumping their fists against the right side of their own chests in respectful salute. Evelyn handed the greatsword to the weapons keeper and turned to see Cassandra sitting on the bench watching her. Cassandra quickly stood, trying not to look as though she had just been hungrily staring a moment ago.

Evelyn walked closer, “Cassandra, my friend! Good to see you! How do you feel today?” Her smile was as bright and enchanting as ever. _She looks so good._

Cassandra said nervously, “Oh, um, yes, well the bath, the food, everything was wonderful last night. Thank you for last night.” Cassandra felt like she was fumbling over words and saying everything all wrong. She let her eyes linger for a delayed blissful moment over Evelyn’s strong comforting arms, remembering that those arms were around her only the night before, welcoming her home. She wanted them around her again but more tightly. Cassandra jerked her gaze away before it felt like her feet had left the ground to float on air as she usually felt around Evelyn when she wasn’t concentrating.

Evelyn laughed, “Sounds like you could still use a couple of nights resting!”

Cassandra laughed nervously and said nothing. She walked alongside the Inquisitor toward the main hall.

“Are you ok?” Evelyn asked worriedly after Cassandra hadn’t said much. “Wait, you’re not upset about my hugging you are you? I promise I was just glad to see you home.” Evelyn looked concerned.

Cassandra felt a desperate pang in her heart when she realized that Evelyn was now trying to explain why she had given her a friendly hug the night before upon her return. She should not have to justify such a gesture of kindness, and Cassandra felt at fault that she did so now. “No, my friend, please. Your hug was fine, more than fine. It was the warm welcome that I expected, hoped for,” Cassandra assured.

She left unspoken that she had _hurried_ home for it.

Evelyn breathed a sigh of relief, “I am glad to hear it. You were so very missed around here. How did your business go with the Seeker stations? I trust you encountered no troubles that you couldn’t handle?” They entered the main hall of Skyhold walking side by side.

Cassandra replied with a more steady voice, still feeling exhilarated from talking with Evelyn, “Yes, Inquisitor, all went as expected. The first four stations are in place, and we have completed the first phase of reestablishing the new Seeker Order. There is much more work yet to be done, but I am confident that we are moving at a good pace.”

“And how are the people of the land where you traveled? Is all well? Leliana tells me that her agents report coordinated rebuilding efforts and encouraging tidings throughout Orlais and Ferelden.” 

“Yes, the people are recovering slowly, and the chantries back in order are truly helping that I believe.”

Evelyn sighed contently, “That is good to hear. Vivienne’s appointment as the new Divine is seeing productive results already.”

“Yes, but the people are strengthened and made to feel secure knowing that you are standing guard should another threat like Corypheus arise again. The chantries are a great help, but your influence plays an even bigger part during the recovery. You were and are the Herald of Andraste, anointed by the Maker. You _inspire_ them, Evelyn; well, you inspire us,” Cassandra replied with heartfelt sincerity.

Evelyn smiled sheepishly and looked ahead, “Whatever it takes to keep the rebuilding effort going, I’m glad to be whatever symbol is needed.”

“Your selflessness was what saw us all through everything, Evelyn. No one will ever forget that because scribes will write tomes of your bravery and accomplishments, and bards will compose songs that will be sung throughout the land for ages long after we are gone. You are a legend in your own right, and not because you wanted to be. Andraste has bestowed power upon you as a result of your humility,” Cassandra spoke passionately.

“Then Maker bless Andraste and the rebuilding efforts of the land,” Evelyn answered.

“You prove my point just now,” Cassandra replied warmly.

Cassandra waited until they were out of earshot of others in the main hall before changing the subject, “Bull told me this morning that Sera left, something about pursuing her Red Jenny work. Is that true?”

Evelyn’s face looked sad when she replied quietly, “Come with me.” She led Cassandra to the door to her chambers and pushed it open.

Cassandra hadn’t been in the Inquisitor’s chambers before, and she nearly protested out of nervousness, but Evelyn was already through the door and walking up the stairs on the way. She clearly wanted to talk in private about the question Cassandra had asked, so she followed, wondering what her friend would have to tell her, hoping she was well.

They topped the long staircase that led to the main room. It was large and cavernous, and Cassandra thought it to be a lonely place to sleep alone. A warming fire was lit in the large hearth on one side of the room, and stained glass windows with the similar Inquisition style imagery in Cassandra’s chamber lined the outer walls. The Orlesian bed was enormous and looked so soft and inviting to Cassandra that she quickly averted her eyes to the sofa and wooden work desk. Stocked bookshelves lined the walls, and the tapestries and curtains were heavy and tastefully colorful about the room. Evelyn was walking through a door that led to a balcony overlooking the mountainous surroundings, and Cassandra followed her.

Cassandra surveyed the view in wonder, “It’s positively breathtaking from up here.”

“Yes, it truly is,” Evelyn said softly.

Cassandra turned to her and said gently, “Talk to me.”

Evelyn leaned against the stone balcony banister with a deeply pensive expression and said, “To answer your question about Sera, yes, she did leave the Inquisition about two months ago, and yes, she wanted people to think it was primarily because of her Red Jenny operations.”

Cassandra stepped closer to Evelyn supportively and said, “I know she left the Inquisition, but what I want to know is why she left you. How could she? You said she wanted people to think it was because of Red Jenny, but you imply there is another reason?”

Evelyn turned her gaze outward to the mountains and said, “She told me she didn’t believe I was in love with her. She said I was saving that for the person who had already stolen my heart and that it wasn’t right for her to borrow that space when it belonged to someone else.” Her voice turned heavy, and her eyes watered slightly with sadness.

Cassandra stepped beside her and took her hand, squeezing it gently, “I am so sorry to hear this news. I’m sorry that she didn’t trust your commitment to her and that she left you for it. That’s not your fault.”

Her heart broke for the sadness in Evelyn’s voice, but it felt so right to be holding her hand in her own. She hadn’t done so like this before, other than the day she put shackles on Evelyn’s wrists and locked her in the stocks when the Conclave had been destroyed. She had lowered her sword and aimed the point at Evelyn’s face while she was helpless, telling her to give her one reason why she should not kill her right then and there. Everyone had thought Evelyn was to blame, but fortunately Andraste had been on her side all alone and prevented Cassandra or anyone else from getting the wrong end of the stick.

Now she squeezed her friend’s hand softly, sharing her sorrow, and feeling a nebulous blend of powerful emotions that she couldn’t understand but welcomed anyway. She was angry, sad, relieved, afraid, aroused, comforted, hurt, jealous, curious, and so much more, but there was one emotion that seemed to be connected to all the rest, and she couldn’t so much as name it now for fear of what it would mean. She wanted to know what was happening with Evelyn first.

Evelyn looked at Cassandra who was standing so close to her and holding her hand. She pulled her hand reluctantly from Cassandra’s and stepped away from her, leaving Cassandra looking slightly confused.

“Thank you for your support and kindness, but the truth is, Cassandra, she was right. I didn’t love her, not like she wanted me to. I had hoped it would turn into that someday, but it never did, and I feel like that _is_ my fault,” Evelyn said as a tear rolled down her cheek.

Cassandra stepped closer to her again, feeling an ache in her heart for her friend’s pain, but Evelyn looked at her and only smiled nervously. She angled herself toward Cassandra and crossed her arms so that Cassandra wouldn’t come too close again.  
Cassandra read the body language and stopped short, placing a hand on the banister and looking at Evelyn curiously with wanting compassionate eyes.

“You gave her purpose. You restored her faith in the Maker once more; you gave her her life back and in better condition than it had been before. She must appreciate you for that, even if you couldn’t give her the rest. You’ve given so much to so many . . .” she turned away then and looked out into the mountains herself. They were mesmerizing, making one feel as though they could find any needed wisdom by merely casting a gaze outward long enough.

Evelyn replied, “I knew my heart belonged to another, but I thought it wouldn’t if I was with someone else that truly loved me. I am not experienced in the game of love. There are rules that I just don’t understand, Cassandra. I should not have entangled myself with Sera like that when I wasn’t going to be able to give her everything of me. That was what she wanted, and she had every right to ask for it. I just couldn’t give away what belonged to someone else.”

“What did you see in her, Evelyn?” Cassandra asked cautiously.

Evelyn looked at her and chuckled slightly, wiping the single tear away from her own face. Cassandra chuckled too. “I know, it wasn’t the best match, but she brought something lighthearted and simple to my life at a time when all was chaotic and filled with killing or the pressure of everything on my shoulders. She was playful, sexy, and full of vitality, and wow, could she handle a bow and arrow! Anyway, it was what I needed at the time, but we really were just too different for it to be anything more. I guess I wasn’t watching for that in the beginning.”

“Of course you weren’t. You are a woman of action, and you had accepted that the Maker had given you a very large responsibility to uphold. You knew that came first, and you focused your attention and energy on doing what you knew you had to do. I am glad if Sera helped make the strain of that more bearable, but you are not at fault for the truth of how you really feel,” Cassandra said softly, looking gently into Evelyn’s eyes. The blue mountain sky and the bright shining sun made her already crystal azure eyes sparkle like sapphires. Cassandra had to pull her gaze away after a moment, or a second too long would further stir up confusing emotions that she couldn’t control anymore. Imagining them stronger was terrifying, and she wondered if it was even possible. It seemed like anything could be possible with her standing this close to Evelyn.

Evelyn nodded, “Thanks for saying so. That really does help.” She smiled sweetly at Cassandra who quickly looked away, blushing.

A moment passed again, and Cassandra turned to Evelyn once more to ask her, “You mentioned that Sera thought your heart belonged to someone else. Did she have any idea who? Do you?”

Evelyn seemed to squirm a bit uncomfortably at the question, and Cassandra thought about withdrawing it for her sake. She decided that she wanted to know, needed to know. She didn’t know why except that the note Sera left seemed to cryptically implicate her as Evelyn’s only love interest. She didn’t know what to make of that news yet and needed to hear it straight from Evelyn. She secretly hoped Sera was right.

Evelyn shifted nervously on her feet a few times, “I’m not sure I want to answer that.”

Cassandra pressed with persistent curiosity, “Why not?”

Evelyn said quickly, “Because it’s not possible. It’s pointless.” Her eyes looked more saddened now than when she had been speaking of Sera, and Cassandra longed to reach out to her to comfort her. She hated seeing her hurt like this.

“Why is it not possible?” Cassandra probed. 

Evelyn said, “Maker I’d hate to be in trouble for something and have you turning that Seeker’s gaze on me like that. This is quite disconcerting for me, you know.”

Cassandra smiled a quirky devilish one-sided grin, “I know it is; don’t change the subject. Tell me, why is it not possible?” She stepped closer to Evelyn even though Evelyn’s arms remained crossed. She didn’t know why she was doing it, but she knew her heart was leading her. Beneath her tunic, she could feel her chest brush lightly against Evelyn’s folded arms as she closed the short space between them.

Evelyn blushed at the faint contact and looked away, squirming even more but not stepping away from Cassandra.

“Evelyn, tell me,” Cassandra said softly.

Evelyn turned toward the stone banister, placing both hands upon it. She looked nervous and fidgety, unable to respond, unable to look Cassandra in the eyes.

Cassandra took her hand again and squeezed it gently, “Who holds your heart?” She was standing so close to Evelyn that their bodies were lightly touching, a sensation that ignited desire in them both. 

Evelyn turned and looked at Cassandra with a doubtful look on her face, “Why do you want to know so much?”

Cassandra’s eyes were filled with passion and longing as she stepped closer to Evelyn, face-to-face. She moved her face only inches apart from Evelyn’s, putting her hands on Evelyn’s shoulders and feeling the bare skin and muscles tensing beneath her fingers. Evelyn’s eyes were aflame with desire as she looked into Cassandra’s. Evelyn glanced down at Cassandra’s full lips, and Cassandra knew she wanted to kiss her. She wanted Evelyn to kiss her, but there was still this little question yet unresolved as to who held the Inquisitor’s heart. She would have Evelyn’s confession if it meant they had to stand out here all day to get it.

Cassandra spoke again in a sweet sensual voice filled with yearning, and she lowered her eyes to Evelyn’s lips and back into Evelyn’s deep blue eyes as she asked, “Who holds your heart?”

Evelyn paused for a moment and said flatly, “No one who can give me hers in return.”

Cassandra backed up a step, remembering what she had said to Evelyn in the past and wondering if it was really fair to press her like this after things recently didn’t work out with Sera. Her hands were still on Evelyn’s strong shoulders, and she noticed that Evelyn hadn’t turned away from her.

Evelyn said sincerely, “I answered your question, maybe not exactly how you expected, but I still answered you. Now, you answer mine. I asked you why you want to know so much.” Evelyn’s gaze was penetrating, and Cassandra suddenly felt helpless in the presence of the Inquisitor as she inquired about Cassandra’s motives, something she found quite difficult to put into words.

Cassandra stammered, “Because . . . because . . .this is very hard for me to explain; I don’t even understand it myself.”

Evelyn asked gently, “What do you not understand?” Her voice was soft and beckoning, and Cassandra knew she wasn’t going to escape from telling the truth to herself and to Evelyn now.

Cassandra looked nervous, her gaze darting about desperately as if searching for the words to say, “Certain feelings. Certain thoughts. I don’t know what it all means.”

“What feelings? What thoughts?” Evelyn asked. She took one of Cassandra’s hands into her own, removing it from her shoulder and squeezed gently to encourage her.

Cassandra lowered her other hand to cover Evelyn’s hand holding her own. “Feelings. Thoughts. I can’t stop thinking about you. While I’ve been away, all I could think about other than my work was when I would be able to return to you. I don’t understand these strong feelings but being with you just feels so right, and I’ve missed you so much.”

Evelyn said confusingly, “But, you said before . . .”

Cassandra interrupted her as if she had been ready to speak on this topic for way too long, “I know what I said to you before, and it breaks my heart that I hurt you like that. Not only that, but it apparently isn’t the truth of how I really felt about you. I’m finding that out now.”

Evelyn said, “So you think you do feel something for me after all?” She was smiling from ear to ear.

Cassandra took Evelyn’s other hand and faced her squarely, “I don’t just think I feel something for you.”

Evelyn replied questioningly, “Ok . . .?”

Cassandra opened her heart wide and let fly the truth, “ _I’ve fallen in love with you._ ” There it was; she finally said it, admitted it. It was like a huge stone wall had crumbled all around her and jumbled itself in rubble on the surrounding ground. She finally felt free.

Evelyn’s jaw dropped, “You what?”

Cassandra confessed again with surrender in her eyes, “I’m so in love with you, Evelyn, even though I’m terrified and entirely new to love with another woman. I trust you though, and I’m so head over heels in love with you I feel like I’m almost going crazy trying to understand these emotions. One thing I do know is that you have my heart.”

Evelyn stood wide-eyed, still smiling broadly and unable to speak.

Cassandra looked at her longingly, “Well, say something! Tell me to go, tell me to stay, tell me anything. Just don’t stand there and say nothing. You have no idea how hard it was to tell you how I feel for you . . .”

Evelyn interrupted her by pulling her close with both arms and kissing her gently on the lips. Cassandra seemed shocked at first and then melted in her arms, pressing her lips close to Evelyn’s and moaning softly into her mouth. She encircled her arms around her neck while Evelyn held her securely about the waist. They stood on the balcony for what felt like forever, kissing and holding one another for the very first time.

They ceased from kissing to breathe each other in and behold each other with new eyes.

“Oh Maker, I have never been so happy in all my life than I am in this moment. My best friend is now my love, and I never want to let you go,” Cassandra sighed in Evelyn’s embrace.

“Now you know who holds my heart. It has always been you from the first day I saw you. I would have done anything for you from that day on, and I would do anything for your love still,” Evelyn whispered.

Cassandra pulled back slightly and searched Evelyn’s eyes. Her own eyes were filled with mild surprise. “Do you mean that you have loved me from the day you first met me?”

Evelyn nodded softly a few times with a faint smile. Her eyes told Cassandra the truth; they always had.

Cassandra looked perplexed as she kept her hands on Evelyn’s shoulders and remained in her embrace, not wanting to part from her. She looked down in troubled thought than back into Evelyn’s sweet eyes and said with a grain of disbelief in her tone, “Then that would mean that you loved me even when I was hauling you about in chains like some animal after the Conclave was destroyed. Are you saying you knew you loved me even then?” 

Cassandra waited for her to say otherwise so that she wouldn’t feel an even heavier weight of guilt for what she had done to Evelyn then. She knew that Evelyn understood she had acted on limited information. Evelyn knew that Cassandra was one of the only people left with the authority to restore temporary order from chaos when the sky was torn in two. Lives had still been in danger immediately after that had happened, and Cassandra hadn’t known to what extent. She’d gone with the first thing she’d seen that had been connected to the disaster, even though she hadn’t known how Evelyn had been involved. She’d bound her and thrown her into the stocks, threatened to kill her, and all the while, Evelyn was in love with her from the first moment? How could that be?

Evelyn let out a deep breath and said, “Cassandra, the moment I saw you, I loved you. I may not have been focusing on that in the immediate moment at the time, but I knew it deep down inside. I always have. I was drawn to you from the start. Who knows why our hearts settle on the ones we love? I only know that I have been yours from the beginning, and here I am, still yours today. If you leave me and come back tomorrow, I will be yours then too, and so on and so on until the Maker lays me to rest.”

Tears welled in Cassandra’s happy eyes as she smiled lovingly and lifted her hands to hold Evelyn’s beautiful face. “Then so it will be for us both.” She leaned in and kissed Evelyn passionately as Evelyn pulled her close and held her tight, and from that day on, they were devoted to each other in true love for the rest of their lives.


End file.
